Kissing: It is What It Seems?

We  were having a conversation with friends the other day and as per usual,  the conversation turned to the ridiculous and frustrating things we’ve  seen people doing with or to their dogs, and one of them, a dog trainer  herself, pointed out the obvious: people don’t know, until they know.

Even  amongst the best dog behaviourists in the world, there will have been a  time in their life, before they learnt what they know, that they would  have believed the typical, passed down, generational information about  dogs, their behaviour and how to train them.  Even we did, as kids.  We  believed in dominance theory, because that’s how we were raised.   Luckily, we also learnt early on that it had been debunked before we  were even born, and that it was unethical.

But  the point is, she was right.  People do not know, until they know…and  when it comes to dog behaviour, the large majority simply do not know!

Many  common day-to-day behaviours displayed by dogs are misunderstood or  misinterpreted, for instance, a lot of people believe a wagging tail  means a happy, social dog…but that belief doesn’t make it true.   Misinterpreting a dog’s behaviour can lead to a lot of issues, the  biggest risk, of course, is for them to bite.

Which brings us to today’s topic, kissing.

Every  person we have ever seen interact with a dog that licks them  (particularly on the face) say something along the lines of ‘thank you  for the kisses’ or ‘oh look she’s giving you a kiss!’ and proceed to  smoosh them, hug them, kiss them back or otherwise continue that  physical contact…hell, even we’ve done it before!  (We’re not perfect,  okay?)

When a dog licks a human,  really in any situation or setting, particularly when doing it to a  child, the standard response is that it is adorable, cute, they’re  showing affection, they are really bonded to that person/child etc etc  etc…but while the humans are getting the warm fuzzies, what is actually  going on with the dog?

Licking is  a much more complex behaviour than a simple show of affection.  While  considered cute, it can actually carry a variety of meanings depending  on the context such as stress and appeasement and is (depending on the  circumstance) one of the steps on the ‘ladder of aggression’ which makes  it a precursor behaviour to escalated defensive or aggressive  behaviours.

Licking in is base  form is a form of communication, but it can also be exploration and  affection…but mixing up the reason behind the behaviour can be  problematic.

Continuous licking  of a hand, arm or other body part while they’re snuggled up with you  could be considered a sign of affection and a natural grooming behaviour  in an attempt to bond with a person.  As we discussed in a recent post  about chattering, dogs explore the world through their sense of smell  which is supported through a secondary sensory system that is accessed  through the roof of their mouth.  Dogs will lick things to take in  additional information through this system.  
Some are also just little weirdos that like the taste of salt and sweat on human skin...

Alternatively,  licking can also be an attention-seeking behaviour that has been  reinforced (either positively in receiving attention, or negatively,  through being told off, that then causes them to carry out the behaviour  to provoke a response, and get their humans attention, because they  want something…such as needing to go to the toilet!

As  with any behaviour, an excessive amount of licking can be as a result  of stress and anxiety.  Licking is a behaviour commonly utilised by dogs  as a way of self-soothing.  It’s basically a coping mechanism, and can  border on compulsive, if they are in unfamiliar or uncomfortable  situations.  This in itself can elicit a reaction from the humans,  further reinforcing it.

Excessive  licking can also suggest an underlying medical issue, but this is more  in licking themselves rather than their owner…though, in saying that we  have heard of many a hound (other breeds too) which have licked their  human excessively in one place and have shown a great deal of attention  otherwise to that place because they knew something was wrong.  We know  of at least two occasions in which greyhounds have identified breast  cancer in their owners long before it was noticed by the humans!

But we’re heading down a different rabbit hole now, because kissing, and licking, are different behaviours.

Licking,  as described above, is repeated or consistent licks…’kissing’ is  typically just one or two licks (but can be more), usually to the face,  particularly children’s faces, and this behaviour is what (in behaviour  terms) is referred to as an ‘appeasement’ gesture.

This  gesture, especially in circumstances where it seems exaggerated or  unprovoked, often followed by them looking away and giving a moon eyed  look back, is a form of communication in which they are trying to ask  for space.  They’re uncomfortable.  They’re trying to pacify,  communicate that they’re not a threat and don’t want any trouble.

The  most common situations in which this occurs is when a child plonks down  on the next to a hound and the hound sits up and gives them a big ol’  wet one across the face.  Similarly, when a person (particularly  children) otherwise approaches them, getting close to their face,  hugging them or otherwise forcing proximity and giving them affection  that they may not want.  

The  hound’s discomfort, insecurity or anxiety, beyond licking, will  typically be accompanied, or preluded by, lip licking, yawning, lowing  body language, ears back, looking away and avoiding eye contact or  suddenly finding something on the ground very interesting and in need of  sniffing or peeing on.

These are all small changes in their body language that often go unnoticed.  

We’ve  mentioned children several times now, and it is most commonly  situations involving children that the behaviour is seen and is usually  seen as being very wholesome or cute.  The issue is that this behaviour  can be demonstrated, but if repeatedly ignored, can lead to a dog  growling.  

We recently had an  owner with a new baby.  They never had any obvious concerned between the  baby and dog, believing the hound patient and caring until the hound  growled and snapped at them.

In  getting some history and learning about the situation, it came to light  that they would regularly put the baby on the sofa, bed or on the floor  next to the hound believing that the hound was being affectionate and  bonding with the baby by kissing them.  But what happened was these  forced interactions along with all the other stressors we identified,  over time, built negative associations with the baby.  As the little one  grew into a toddler, and started to crawl and walk, they continued to  invade the hound’s space.  The hound, throughout was communicating their  discomfort, but babies don’t see this, and the parents sadly didn’t  either.  Eventually, after the hound lost patience and felt pressured  into defending themselves more obviously.  The hound ended up escalating  to growling and, ultimately, air snapping, at the child.  

With  careful management, the situation was improved upon, and everything is  fine now…but kissing shouldn’t automatically be considered as cute.  It  should be considered as a sign that their boundaries are being invaded  and they aren’t happy about it.  

This  is especially true in any interactions with unfamiliar children, or  people, as there is no foundational trust there.  A hound’s comfort  levels, stress levels and overall tolerance will be different with an  unfamiliar person.  Problems can escalate far faster with an unfamiliar  person, than a familiar one.

Recently  we saw a video circling Instagram of a dog meeting a child in the  street.  The dog was on a lead, so was limited in their decision to  partake in this interaction, and the child was being encouraged to greet  the dog who was ‘friendly’.  This dog had no option to avoid this  interaction, and they were presenting with all the body language signs  we mentioned above in showing they were uncomfortable.  Including  approaching the child with lowered posture and licking at them, then  turning and moving away.
The child was also a bit  nervous and flighty, as the dog didn’t sit still to be stroked, and kept  moving its head, which made the child uncomfortable.  The dog was then  licking at the child’s hand to ask for space and show they didn’t want  them to continue.

The large  majority of comments on this video praised the dog on how gentle and  affectionate the dog was being with the child, and how positive and  wholesome the whole thing was…the minority who were able to currently  identify and point out the dangers of the situation were drowned out by  people calling them trolls.  But then, it’s the internet, this that’s  just how the world works these days…

While  there was no escalation of behaviour in that instance, the dog now has  now had a negative interaction with a child.  Repeated negative exposure  like that will teach the dog that children are scary and don’t respect  their boundaries, that they don’t listen to their signs.   One day, they  may well just give up on demonstrating their discomforts and jump  straight to growling and snapping.  This is often where people comment  saying it came out of nowhere, or is so out of character and not like  them at all, that they don’t know what came over them…but the signs were  there.

As dog owners, we need to  be their guardians, and their advocates.  Learning and understanding  them, their individual preferences and tolerances, to ensure they have a  positive and (as far as possible) stress free life.  Forcing  interactions that make them uncomfortable and misinterpreting their body  language can cause them undue stress and lead to behavioural issues  down the line.  We need to set them up for success and manage the  interactions they have with people, their environment, other dogs and  everything in between in a way that ensures their happiness and ability  to thrive!

So, while it is tempting to view dog licking as innocent or affectionate, remember that it isn’t always what it seems.